Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in okcomputerfan's LiveJournal:

Monday, March 28th, 2005
10:12 pm	ughhhhhhh! hmmmmmmm just totaly bitched at nick for constantly questioning tihngs but he deserved it i mean really, evreyone has there fucking limit he just always thinks i flirt with other guys and shit but whatever, i love him anyway my bed time was 15 mins ago ~love you all sooooooo much!!!!! ~anna Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: typing (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 21st, 2005
8:49 pm	hmmmm totaly forgot i had a lj for like 9 months....oops... but yeah lifes pretty good im with an awesome amazing guy who i love the fuck out of no friends, and all the girls at my school hate me but hopefully i wont be goign to this schoool much longer.... hmmm. thats it for now ill try to remember about tis so i dont have to wait for another gazillion months.... ~anna (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 7th, 2004
11:00 am	help im going crazy seriously on verge of mentaal break down too much family, nlot enoughj space andn anna needs her space (Comment on this)
Monday, July 5th, 2004
7:38 pm	dont get caought, t stinks ok life is awful mom and dad happened to find a 1/2 gallon of vodka when they were searching my backpack and now im groubnded forever and i miss tom and emily so much its not even funny i am so sad and lonely right now and guess who g-pa brought up to my grandmothers cottage? 2 months after she died of a mother fucking toumor in the god damn brain which took so long and was the most horifying this i think anyone in my family has ever seen barbra shows up and yeah shes had 3 husbands she left the last one so broke his kids had to support her and now he iknvited er up to stay qwith him in my dead grandmothers house!!! it makes me so mad i cant stand it and my parents hate me and i just wish emily was hear because she would kjnow just what to do but she isnt and i hate evrey thing today my da tried to take a walk with me and h kept trying to make small talk but i wouldnt talk to him because it will just end up in a disscusion about what a failure i am. and i know that talk so well, its nothing i dont already know. and then he got mad because i wasnt talking but i like things much better from an auditory stand point as opposed tyo a verbal one. i lets me anylyze things but yeah rebby and kenny you shoulkd call me i have to see you before you head out to sweaden kendra has my digits and i need someone to be with tat im not realated to but that i can relate too or i seriously think that i will have to collapse sometime soon (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004
7:26 pm	borcd so bored its the last day that i had to go into school and tom left for florida kristin at devons house chloes in utica emily...i dont know and im a little annoyed with her and def. dont want to be with her rtight now.... and thats it no other friends at all none zip zilch zero i wish i was in maine, then i could hang out with rebby and kenny dn katie and anna they all like me there nice so its offical, hamilton people suk, and mainers are the shizzle to my izzle someone call me tonight pleaseeeee ~ak (Comment on this)
3:26 pm	kids kids will try to run you over kids will try to bring you down kids will never day there sorry wids back then are older now i love moe tere so cool and killer in concert there def. my fav jam band besides phish yah so anyways, today my lil broyther had a birthday party. god, it was soooo load so i just barricaed myself in my room and listened to the new phish cd tom burned for me my new cds( thanks to tom): phish-undermind jet- get born bestie boys- to the 5 burrows outkast- love below yeah im suppern excited maybe my parent will let me go out tonight, now that IM COMPLETLY DONE WITH SCHOOL!!! HELL YESS!!! hmmm ya ill be going now... (Comment on this)
Monday, June 21st, 2004
7:54 pm	good lord, where on earth are my morals ok hmm yeah guess what i did the other night? went to the movies with tom, kristin rose(im tight with thoses guys) and devon, bryan and bryans cousin. yeah. and i brought with me 2 water bottles filled with vodka. and im a lightweight. oh god evreyone qas so drunk, bryan was about to pass out, and it was rosies first ime getting drunk, and shes puked a ton ands was the most drunk i can ever remember someone being. besidees bryan, he was worse. but yeah, so tom and i got drunk...and if you know our history you know what that means. it was just 3 hours of non stop making out and ...other stuff. yueah im a BADDDDD person but i got my ass and at the moment thats all i really care about but we made out like crazy not even funny, and then there was other stuff that happenedd.... i disnt have sex with him though thank the lord, then i really would be a whore but poor kristin, her mom gave evreyone a ride home, and she was soooo drunk, right before her mom came i took her to pee in a resturant, and she keept falling down, and wasd layng flat on her face on the bathroom floor. i had to zip her pants becasue she couldnt get them. but in the movies she broke dwn and was sobbing and she told us how shes so sad and evreyone hates her because she made out with devon when he was going out with her best friend. it was so sada but in the car she was teling me how she made out pantsless with devon and licked his dick , but she was so drunk she was trying to wisper, but she was talking really loud, and her mo heard, and totaly knew something was up. oh well shes so sweet to me though, i dont know what i would do without her, shes the best. my good, i got to fuckin 3rd in the movies, drunk off my ass with a guy i told my best friend i would never make out with again my god whats wrong with me and the next morning i had to drive up to syracuse with my family and i was so hungover but tom had to go to church haha hes so nice to me. i love feeling so taken care of and hes burning me cds hehehehehehe ~ak (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 19th, 2004
6:57 pm	what the fuck wtf. my parents are total shitheads. i bloddy hate them all to fuckin much. last night taber and i were going to go to gregs, but my mm wouldnt let me get a ride with powers, even though emily and choes parents did. so then we went to tabers to change, and tabers mom and mine start talking and tell us we cant go. then we have to sit for an hour and get lectuured about how the willams arent good parents and that the guys there were going to rty to rape us and that there was goingt o be drinking and shit. meanwhile, emily and chloe are getting totaly drunk/ stoned adn having an awesome time. and then chloe got to go tho gowans house with powers, and taber and i had to sit at her fuckin house getting yelled at. and then we though we were goignt o go sleep at chloes, vut then she calls me at 1:30 and tells me that we cant come over. what tghe fuck! i god damn hate my fuckin parents. and now emily and chloe have blown me off again and im god damn sick of them ignoring me and never calling me becasue there goign to get stoned or drunk with seniors. i god damn hate them. so tonight emily and chloe are going to a party with jamie.whatever. tom just called me and maybe ill go to his hose ater ad get some ass. im such a slut. my god.. save me. w/e life es muy suckio (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 17th, 2004
7:53 pm	complicated ok, so yesterday i went kyaking and hung iut with emily and taber, and it was so fuin, then i had to go home, and after i studied and ate dinner, i called tabers house like 3 times ad no one answered and i dont have my cell so i cant caller tabers cell. then tom calls, and i sort of thoiyugh there were going t be ton of people at his house, so i say i can go over. then emily calls me and apperently she just got of the phone wiht tom, and he was being mean to her evebn though there best friends, and she asked me what i was doind and i told her that i was going to toms and she hangs up on me. but i was kinda thinking a bunch of ppl were coming over to his house, so she would be there, but really, he only called me. so i go to his house and we watch family guy and make out and stuf... it was nice, but im thinknin of it as friends with benifits. so then this morning i go to have a meeting with emily and chloe and scooni about directing again next year, and shes glaring at me. and then we talked a litle while later, and she was so mad. omg! but its not like i was trying to steal tom away from her or anything like that and ill never try to undermind her friendship with him. and i did say i would never make out wiht him again, but we had sort of talked about how tom makes out wiht me and her and kristin all the time, and she was being cool about it, and she makes out all the tme with scott, wos toms other best friend so if she can have friends wit benifits why cant i? and im not saying tom and i would ever go out or anything, but if my bestfriend and my closest girl friend decided to go out, id be really happy for them. maybe im just crazy, but i think i would su[pport my friend through whatever. im sp confused about this whole thing. i really dont have friends here i told her i wouldnt make out wiht him agin, and i didnt for a while, and we were as tight as we used to be, but nowi guess ive ruined it again. i do the lowest things. i hat this liffe, i need to go to one of those spa places where hey give yuo massages and make you bueatiful. thats what i really need, to get rid of this damn fuglienesss and be able to relax and think for a little while. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
5:57 pm	tre fabulouso dia awesome day: last day of school (except for 2 regents) only in school till 10 went to pizza hut with my girls and devo went swimming at toms, and he was really nice to me emily saw me give him a hug and kiss goodbye(no tounge, just a friend kiss) and didnt get mad best friends with emily never felt this good went from toms to express mart with kristin rose and stocked up on ice cream went to toms, worked on tan got tanner lovein life unfourtunetly idk if i can get a ride intro town tonight:(.... oh well no frealkin school!!!!!! no more damn algebra!! and im almost positive i passed my math final sweetness awesome day mwa ~ak (Comment on this)
Monday, June 14th, 2004
6:43 pm	more complaining when i was a little girl i remember vididly my mother getting mad at me. not mad at me like yelling at me mad, so overcome with frustration that she became incapable of resonable thought. im not saying she beat me, no huge physical damage was ever done, but i remeber one time stnding in the corner, laughing hystericly becaause i ws so scared, and her face, white with anger, leaning over me and asking" what? do you think this is funy? do you think this is a jjoke". and being shaken because she just had so much frustration, and i was the outlet, i was also the source. and nothings changed. she never beat me or hurt me or anything, shes just scared me. and then i dont remeber what she was like after that, but now shes somehow appologetic. its ironic, as bad as she may feel, we both know that in a little while she will get mad at me again, and the whole thing will happen again. its strange. and she just wants a normal family, bbut oh well, guess i screwed up that dream of hers to.. Current Mood: pensive (Comment on this)
4:26 pm	crazy parental unit i think my mos seriuosly clynicly insane. its so scary. evreyonce and a while she will do something crazy and weird. im scared of her. and i know i should be nicer because of w/e. 7 years ago when she was pregnant with my brother she started to get majiorly deppresed, and she wont go to a shrink, so it wont go away. but shes a total control freak. today in the car she told me im only alowed to hang out with 4 people: emily, tom, kristin, and chloe. she got mad because i ws walkinmg in town with ppl she didnt know and dosent talk with their mothers or anything. ts like what the fuck!!!! im 5, when are you going to be able to trust me tih my own damn decissions? im not as niaeve as you think! fuckin bitch! i hate hate hate her! she cant face the fact that my life is finnaly ok, and shes trying to sabatoge it cuz hers scks! i hate her! i cant stand it!!!! (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 13th, 2004
9:28 pm	aghh 2 finals tommorow scary and im so wooried about passing math not even funny and i had a soccer game today with no subs and in pooring rain, but it was ok cuz im a water baby and before that emily and chloe ccame over to help study, but realy they just stole my cloths. oh well, im so glad emily and i are bff's again, we havent been this tight since 3 months ago when ths hwole tom/anna/emily love triangle started and i forgot how much fun she is to be arround and how awesome she is and being friends with her right now makes me feel so happy and relived, and im not so lonely anymore never let a guy break up a relationship with someone you care about never its not going to be worth it, no matter what because you will feel so alone and scared even if you are with the guy. best friends rock i love them so much more than anything else! oh well, i think i should at east make an attempt to pass my math final tommorow luv ya'll ~ak Current Mood: anxious Current Music: the gloaming- radiohead (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:03 pm	finals suck I HATE FINALS!!! STUDYING MY ASS OFF trying to pass algebra, there is a serious possiblility that i mght be in algebra again next year if i dont pass my final. scary, very scary and yeah...im fighting with my parents again. and that sucks and hangovers are a bitch so yeah. and i flashed a shitload of people last nighbt, when we were swimming and then after, i am such a slut oh well, g2g get smart lata (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 10th, 2004
10:31 pm	parents my parents just said that i am: -fat -shallow -trash -stupid -failure -hopelesss in life feeling just great about myself and i thisk emilys mad at me again1 i cant stand it when people can never fully get over something that happened in the PAST!!!\ yeah, there were a ton of us at the mvies one night, and tom and i were sort of holding hands, and she fuckin flipoped out at me what the fuck im not going to make out with him ever agin, and im not going to go out with him or anythiung like that what the hell so i cant even have any physical contact with my friend? i dont understand this at all all i want is not to feel so lonely all the time, ive never felt this alone with so many people around me its so deppresing i just cant wait to get away from evreyone here they just dont get me here i was trying to tell chloe how i wanted to graduate a year early, and she was like " but you would miss graduating with all of your friends, and senor skip day, and tyhe class trip" they just dont get it, i would do anythig not to have to be here. none of thise things are important t me hope ya'lls lives are fabulous luv ~ak (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
9:15 pm	hehehe this thing is so cool im tickelded pink or purple or green but not puke green, lime green hhahahaha im sucha weirdo for the 2 people reading this, out of comon courtosy because i asked them t or implied that they should Current Mood: dorky Current Music: pearl jam baby!!!hell yes (Comment on this)
8:56 pm	sorry sorry about my outbursts...i really do love evreyone yeah mwa mwa mwa im so excited to see all you mainers, cant wit to get out of this shithole mwa ~anna (Comment on this)
5:15 pm	so..damn..hot...... its fuckin 98 degres out. but not as in the boy band, because that would be weird and if u dont really know me, no the heat hasent gpotten to me, im just crazy and in a bad mood life is such a bitch \my family is so disfunctinol they were trying to talk me into going to talk to a shrink again. fuck that hmmm,....maby during the 8 MOTHS OF FUCKIN SUICIDAL DEPRESSION WHERE I STARVED MY SELF AND CUT MY SELF AND WANTED TO FUCKIN DIE BECAUSE I WAS SO GOD DAMN HELPLESS WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER FUCKIN TIME!!!!! and i hate my life here im so much more myself in maine, its crazy, not even fuckin funny how difrent i am here, granted, im a little bit more on the wild side in the smmer....shit i nedd a god damn smoke. im going to go curl up in a corner and die now because there is no real reason to keep livin this inconsequental life that will never effect anyone postitvley. WHY DO I KEEP FUCKING UP!!!???! give me a call, i promise id LOVE tohear from you if you have nice shit to day to me, and if you dont WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU READING THIS GODDAMN JOURNAL!!!!! fuckity fuck fuck fuck yeh, anyways.... luv ya'll ~anna (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
5:18 pm	hmmm...i feel like such a mainer..... fuckity fuck fuck fuck what is with all this emotinal fuckwatige here peole! i swear, im just going to be fuckin amish by the end of high school. but yeah. anyways.... this is my first journal entry, even though it was like 3 months ago that kendra got this for me. oh well fuck the world in truth no one dies a virgin, cuz life screws us all hahahahaaha shut up its blood y halarious, no matyter what bthe hell you say. but i hate girls we are : -vicious -gosipy -ditzey -stupid -superficial yeah. thats abput all for now but yeah, i might write later, if i remember... luv to ya'll ~anna (Comment on this)